Men’s Mental Health: What We’re Not Talking About (But Should Be)
We can’t ignore the facts.
Suicide is the leading cause of death in men under 50 years old. This peaks around the age of 45 – 54. In the UK, men in construction are 3.7 times more likely to die by suicide than the national average.
I spoke to some of our men at Bell and asked what happens when the pressure builds or life feels chaotic.
Then I spoke to colleagues and partners and I asked them, what they notice:
‘Sometimes there’s a change in mood or a flare up’
‘Things go quiet. There’s pacing. You know there’s a problem’
‘They get their head down and try to get on with it’
‘I wish they’d ask for help and not see it as a sign that they’re not capable’
‘I wish they knew they didn’t have to be strong all the time. Sometimes real strength is asking for help’
‘I wish he knew that he could talk to me and my trust and respect in him would not waver’
‘I wish he knew he wasn’t on his own. I wish he’d tell me what he needs’
So what can we do when we see someone struggling?
All too often, we shy away from digging a little deeper, because we feel too awkward and don’t want to make things worse. One thing to bear in mind is that finding the right words when you’re already overloaded can be hard and may be too much to expect at first. Rather than putting someone in the spotlight, doing something together – a walk, fishing, a shared task – makes questions like ‘So how’s it really going?’ easier to answer.
And if we want to live in a world where men aren’t concerned about being laughed at for sharing their feelings, it starts with our support and concern. These conversations are not a burden to us. Maybe instead of focusing on questions like ‘Did you get that done?’ we can remember to ask ‘How are you really?’ And if they don’t want to talk about it now, then let them know it’s not a one off chat.
Ultimately, we want the men in our lives to know that they’re more to us than workers, they are fathers, partners, brothers, and friends. Healthy, whole, and human.
Health Assured
Please remember that our Employee Assistance Programme which is provided by Health Assured remains available to all our employees. Health Assured can provide support on a wide range of health and wellbeing issues.
Health Assured can be contacted 24/7 on 0800 028 0199 where professionally qualified counsellors are available to take your call and provide confidential advice and support on any issue that may be concerning you. There is no cost to you for accessing this service.
